Did you know that you talk to yourself all day
No, not the mental chatter about activities and
chores that you need to remember throughout the
day. That’s a form of self talk too – but I’m
referring to the things you say to yourself on a
regular basis; and more importantly, the tone in
which you say them.
When you make a mistake, do you berate yourself
angrily? Do you put yourself down or call
yourself derogatory names?
When you have a hard time making positive changes
in your life, do you bemoan what a “worthless”
person you are and conclude that you can’t do
Negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging to
your self- esteem, especially if it’s a big part
of your daily life. When you keep saying things
like that to yourself, eventually you begin to
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Most often these negative messages begin as
statements uttered by the adults in your life when
you were a child…. They may have said something
negative about you when your actions displeased
them, or perhaps they had a habit of saying unkind
things even when you didn’t deserve it.
As painful as these experiences can be, even worse
is when you pick up where they left off and keep
repeating the same negative messages to yourself
over and over!
The good news is that you can change your
“self-talk” any time you want. The first step is
to become AWARE of the ‘tone’ of your messages and
consciously ‘replace’ them with more encouraging
Try these simple steps for starters:
* Develop AWARENESS of your self-talk. It may
take practice, but if you start “listening” in to
your inner voice, you’ll begin to notice when you
talk negatively to yourself.
* CHALLENGE the negative messages. When you
notice yourself saying something negative such
as, “You’re such a screw-up, you can’t do
anything right” – Stop yourself and challenge
that belief. Is that really true? Maybe you mess
up sometimes, but do you ALWAYS mess up?
* REPLACE these negative messages with positive
messages. When you realize you’re saying unkind
and untrue things to yourself, simply TURN IT
AROUND in your mind.
Using the above example, you might say, “Wow,
that’s not true at all! I do plenty of things
right. It’s true I make mistakes, but so does
everyone. I’m a good person and I try my best.
That’s good enough for me.”
Over time, your efforts will pay off in the form
of stronger self- esteem and RESPECT for Yourself
and your Capabilities. It probably won’t happen
overnight, but the more you work at turning your
self-talk in a more positive direction, the better
you’ll feel about yourself.
I DON’T DO THAT ANY MORE ! I’M FEELING GOOD !