Life Coach, MetaPhysician

How you became you

Actually self doubt/low self esteem begins in the womb. What we think we are what we think the world is, is completed by the time we are 6 years old. Here is some information on it.
Studies show that high self-esteem is the #1 ingredient essential
for developing happiness, fulfillment, rich relationships, and
overall success in life. In the life of every child, usually
sometime between birth and age 6, something happens to have the child doubt him or herself. Someone says or does something that has the child believe that he or she is flawed, unlovable, not worthy, imperfect.

This initial stressful incident is the first real realization that
the child is not perfect and fails to measure up to society’s
standards in some important way. The initial upset can be one of
two types. The first assault could be an unkind word from a peer or authority figure, a spanking, an insult, an argument, a bullying or name calling episode. It could occur as a direct result of
something the child said or did that provoked an attack on his or
her sense of worthiness or ability to fit in.

The second type of self-esteem diminishing episode can be as a
result of the child misinterpreting someone’s words or actions to
mean that the child is flawed, unlovable, or defective in some way.
In such a case, no insult or demeaning connotation was intended.
The facts were that someone said or did something. The child
mistakenly made up that there was something wrong with him or her as a result of what was said or done.

Daily, there are hundreds of opportunities for a child to
misinterpret life in a way that tarnishes their self-image over the
long term. A common example of such a misinterpretation can be when parents get divorced. What happened was the adults fell out of love or realized that they wanted to separate. What the child made up was that if he had only been a better boy and did a better job cleaning his room, or picking up his toys, mom and dad wouldn’t have fought so much and would still be together. The child may make up that he is bad and people leave him because of this.

Another example of this faulty reasoning might be an episode where the parents drop off a child for a week with a relative. Perhaps they feel they need a vacation or might need to tend to some business matter and decide that it would be easier for the child to be minded by a sitter. The child makes up that his parents don’t love him and that people want to get rid of him. With this sort of tendency toward faulty interpretation, there are literally thousands of opportunities for the child to attach a meaning to the situation that begins the process of eroding self-esteem.

The process of diminished self-esteem does not stop at such an
initial decision regarding the child’s value. The child, armed with
the belief that she is not good enough, now scans for additional
situations that may serve as more evidence to reinforce this
initial thought of being flawed. During such potentially upsetting
events, the child reinforces this idea of unworthiness by further
interpreting life events to prove the fact that she is defective.
After years of accumulating such evidence, their self-image
deteriorates further with every episode. Before long, there is no
doubt in the person’s mind that there is something wrong with them. After all, they have created a self-fulfilling prophesy to cement this belief firmly in their self-perception.
We are what we believe. Change your belief change your life.

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